Dave, weren’t you supposed to…

Yes. Yes I was supposed to do a lot of things. Like keep my site more up to date than this for starters. Oh, and run a marathon a couple months ago. My goal of running a marathon had to get postponed until 2015 for medical reasons. My lack of site updates… well I have no good excuse. That’s just plain laziness.

However in an attempt to not appear to be a total looser, here are some things that  I have accomplished in the past 4 months (in no particular order)

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Signs of Intelligence in New Jersey

Welcome-to-New-JerseyDon’t judge a state by several morons and television producers with no moral conscious whatsoever. There are signs of intelligence in New Jersey, and remarkably enough they’re in the state legislature. Assemblyman Michael Patrick Carroll makes a brilliant speech regarding the lack of mental prowess required to ban “the wrong size metal box.”

This is definitely worth 6 minutes of your time to watch. I only wish more politicians actually took the time to think things through as well as this man. Thanks to my buddy Joel for sending this my way.

Some Things Need to Remain American

I’m all for a global market, don’t get me wrong… but there’s just some iconic things that really should remain rooted in their original habitat. The list could get pretty lengthy, but I’m going to pin it to one thing today, and that’s Bourbon.

As a connoisseur of whiskys, let me pause for a brief clarification to the benefit of the less spirit-wise. All Bourbons are whisky, but not all whiskys are Bourbon. Bourbon is a legal term requiring that the so-called spirit adhere to these standards:

  • Produced in the United States
  • made from a grain mixture that is at least 51% corn
  • aged in new, charred-oak barrels
  • distilled to no more than 160 (U.S.) proof (80% alcohol by volume)
  • entered into the barrel for aging at no more than 125 proof (62.5% alcohol by volume)
  • bottled (like other whiskeys) at 80 proof or more (40% alcohol by volume)

MakersmarkSo why bother bringing this up? Well it just so happens that my favorite brand of Bourbon has recently been acquired by a Japanese company. Like I said, I’m all for a global market. I even work for an American steel company formerly owned by Greeks that is now owned by Russians. However, I think this is just a bit different. It would be like Samuel Adams purchasing a Scottish distillery and distributing their whisky to Scots and still calling it Scotch. That shit just ain’t right.

So the question that plagues me: Should I replace this nearly empty bottle of Maker’s Mark with another, considering that the profits from my next purchase will be sent overseas? Or shall I endeavour to find another Bourbon producer whose profits remain in this great (however misguided under the current commander in chief) nation of ours? These are the enigmas that keep me up at night.

Well fuck me, if this bottle hasn’t managed to descend into emptiness whilst I debate my dillema. I guess I’ll just have to go find another brand to replenish my shelves tomorrow. Oh, but I can’t do that in Indiana… but that’s a rant for another day.

So… any suggestions as to which brand I should invest my liquor loyalty in now?

Johnny Walker BlackFuck it… I’ll just go back to drinking Scotch. Johnnie Black, I know you’ve missed me, but I’m back! At least it’s obvious which country my profits are going to now!

I’ll toast to this all year long:

Here’s tae us;
wha’s like us?
Gey few, and they’re a’ deid.

It’s Not Yours to Close

Since when did a public memorial become the property of the government? Last I checked, the government was supposed to work for “The People.” Now if they want to stop providing grounds keeping and janitorial services for public parks, that’s all fine and dandy. But by no means should they have the authority to bar entrance to places that are “public.”

Closed due to Dumbasses

Of course the explanation is obvious. Each government program is faced with the realization that this shutdown is hardly going to make life difficult for anyone by itself. I can’t for the life of me figure out how ceasing all IRS audits is really going to make people regret letting the government shut down. So in a desperate attempt to make people notice them, much like a 3 year old throwing a temper tantrum, government agencies have gone out of their way to piss people off and blame it on the “shutdown.”

So here’s a question for you: How goddamned stupid do you have to be in order to keep trying to push your regulatory agenda upon the American Public after they’ve told you, “No, we’re not going to pay for it, even if it means shutting down everything you do!”

The simple answer is unfortunately, goddamned stupid enough to be Barack Obama.

A worse question is, “How goddamned stupid do you have to be to vote for Barack Obama?”

According to the FEC (which is shut down right now except for their website), the answer is: You must be less intelligent than 48.94% of people who voted in the 2012 Presidential Election.

I hope that the idiots comprising the 51.06% that voted for him are happy with their choice. So, if you’re reading this and wondering to yourself, “Hey, did he just call me an idiot?” the answer is an emphatic yes. Yes I did. Take some solace in the fact that you figured it out. You’re probably in the upper echelon of the idiots.

Half Staff Again?

Half StaffI actually meant to pen this post a few days ago, because today the Stars and Stripes are flying tall and proud. However a few days ago, that wasn’t the case. How many times in the past year have you driven past a government facility and thought to yourself, “Why is the flag being flown at half staff today?” I don’t exactly read or watch the news (because it’s generally more bullshit than news) so granted, sometimes I’m a day behind hearing about the latest big breaking story. However, for something to be monumental enough for everyone to lower their flags to half staff, I would think it should be one of those events that everyone is aware of, regardless of what rock they live under. It should have to be one of those things that everyone is talking about. You shouldn’t ever look at that flag and have to ask someone, “Why is it flying at half staff today?” If it’s serious enough for our nation to take notice and lower our flags in honor of, remembrance or mourning, then the average person should already know and understand why. Continue reading

Idiot vs Math = Math Wins

It’s hard to argue with math. It’s even harder to argue with Joel. The following is a little tidbit of Joel’s recent thoughts on Joe Biden’s home defense advice. Do please click through and read the whole article. Especially when he gets to the part about comparing a 12ga shotgun with a .32 caliber machine pistol. I love it when math is put to good and practical use.

Joe Biden is misguided at best.

I’m sure many of you have heard VP Joe Biden’s “advice” recently regarding self defense at home.

Where do we begin?

I believe that we should start with one of the most irresponsible statements I’ve ever heard, “Just walk out on the balcony…. and fire two blasts outside the house.”

Really, Joe? Just fire blindly into the night? No worries about the payload of lead or where it will go? That violates the most fundamental rules of firearms safety. (Google “Celebratory Gunfire”) And why fire both barrels, Joe? Shouldn’t you keep one round in reserve just in case the enemy isn’t frightened by shots you’re not firing at him or her?

A single 12 gauge shotgun blast with 00 buck shot is more powerful than getting hit with 9 rounds of .32 ACP AT THE SAME TIME!

Joe, if you think full autos are bad and high capacity semi-autos are bad, why do you think it’s OK to put 9 rounds down range with a single pull of the trigger?

Your belief system is flawed.

Read the rest at Joel’s Blog.

Strange Women Lying in Ponds

Strange Women Lying in Ponds

Seriously, does this make any less sense than letting the TV pick your president?

“I am your king!”

“Well, I didn’t vote for you.”

“You don’t vote for kings.”

“Well, ‘ow did you become king then?”

“The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!”

“Listen — strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.”

“Be quiet!”

“Well you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!”

“Shut up!”

“I mean, if I went around sayin’ I was an empereror just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they’d put me away!”

“Shut up! Will you shut up!”

“Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.”

“Shut up!”

“Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP! HELP! I’m being repressed!”

Presidential Non-Debates 2012

Anyone watch the presidential debates last night? I sure as hell didn’t waste my time with it. Why am I not concerned with how well the 2 presidential candidates do in the debates? Well that deserves a multi-part answer.

Reason #1 – There are more than 2 candidates for president on every ballot in every state!
I refuse to lend any credence to a debate that will not allow all candidates to participate. This is anything but a debate. It is a media event, but not a debate. It is meant to promote the political parties, not to educate the public. This farce of an event has only one specific purpose: to convince the American public that these are your only two choices. The truth of the matter is that Gary Johnson, a Libertarian candidate, will be right there on the ballot next to the other two. Most people don’t know that, and the Republicans and Democrats both agree that they’d like to keep it that way. Ask yourself why they want to edge out the competition? Is it because it is better for our country or is it because of greed and power? You’re not an idiot. You decide.

Reason #2 – If your only choices are Republican or Democrat, then you’re fucked either way.
Both participants will promise you that they can make things better and give you more and keep you safe, etc… And why shouldn’t they? They’ve been promising that shit for years and not delivering on it, and yet the general populace continues to eat it up and vote for them. Vote Democrat or vote Republican – it doesn’t matter. You’re voting for bigger government, more restrictions, less freedom and more taxes.

Reason #3 – Neither one of these clowns would stand a chance in a debate with a Libertarian candidate.
This is exactly why they will not even utter the word “Libertarian.” They will pretend the party doesn’t exist. They will pretend that there is no alternative. Each Republican and Democrat will pretend as though they have only one opponent. As long as they continue to pretend that and the general public continues to watch this crap on television, then they will succeed in convincing enough people that it’s the truth.

It’s a shame that Ron Paul didn’t get the Republican nomination. He was as close as either the Republicans or the Democrats will ever come to actually changing the country. What’s worse is that I’ve seen many of the Ron Paul supporters shift their support to vote against Obama. Well you can’t vote against someone when there are more than 2 options. You have to vote for someone. Do yourself a favor and educate yourself on all the options before making a decision.

Seriously, people need to stop voting against the candidate they hate and start looking for a candidate they like. Remember, the lesser of two evils is still evil.

Finally, a good use for the Chicago gun buyback program

Originally posted on the Chicago Tribune website.

Chicago’s gun buyback helps group pay for youth shooting camp
Downstate group collects more than $6,200 in gift cards for old, damaged weapons.

Last weekend, members of a downstate group drove to Chicago, handed in about 60 weapons as part of the city’s trade-in program and walked out with more than $6,200 in gift cards.
While the city gun buyback program is meant to reduce the amount of deadly weapons in Chicago, the guns traded in were rusted, damaged and, according to the group, pretty much useless.
Police said the pro-gun group is taking advantage of a program intended to take firearms off the street. Officials from Guns Save Life, based in Champaign County, countered that they are putting the money to good use — to purchase ammunition and firearms for a youth program that teaches gun safety and marksmanship. The group also traded in a handful of BB guns and starter pistols.
“We just took advantage of Chicago’s induced, artificial market on rusty junk,” said John Boch, the group’s president.

(Click the link above for the full article)

Absolutely brilliant! My hats off to these guys. I’ve seen their Burma Shave style signs going down I57 before. A very clever group working to protect our rights.

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Whitney Houston Dies – So What?

Of course anyone with eyes and ears knows that Whitney Houston died in her hotel room Saturday. What I don’t get is, why is this news? Did anyone really give a shit about Whitney Houston before she went and overdosed on everything within arm’s reach?

Rick James says that coccaine is a helluva drug. Whitney agrees.

Is it unfortunate? Yes. Is it tragic? Probably. However, thousands of people die tragic deaths every day and the news media doesn’t spatter that all over the air waves.Why is it different when it’s a celebrity? Worse yet, a has-been celebrity. Case in point: Michael Jackson was a child molester on Wednesday June 24th 2009. On Thursday he dies. On Friday he’s a saint and everyone wants to make a movie about him to show how awesome he was.

Is there really such little newsworthy stories out there that the US media companies have to beat this into the ground? Seriously, there’s something out there worth caring about. This isn’t it. Move on.

For Christ’s sake, Ron Paul can’t get more than 90 seconds worth of air time in a debate, but they’ve beat this horse postmortem for 48 hours continuously. It’s either the news media’s fault for not having their priorities straight, or it’s the general public’s fault for caring more about a dead celebrity than they do about the future of their own country.